It has been a year since John passed away on March 21, 2010. It has been a year of ups and downs. We are renting a house and living on our own. I was able to buy new furniture to set up our new home. It was a nice feeling to furnish the house and not be in debt afterwards. Kids started in their new school and seem to be enjoying it. My job has been going well since I have an extra skill code in ISRP so I am still working while others in the SCRIPS department have been furloughed for a month, during a time that we are usually sooooo BUSY! I was given the calling of Relief Society instructor and have loved/hated this. Hate preparing, having the nervous feeling when I start and then up enjoying teaching. I also recently purchased a new car and have enjoyed it so much. But all of these new fun things I would trade in an instant if I could have my husband back but with one condition, he came back healthy! I just have to remember that he is in a much better place and out of pain and misery, also that I will be with him again one day (hopefully not for a LONG TIME). I have had a few people ask me if I am dating again and I am just not ready for that. It would be nice to go out once in a great while but I am not ready to start a relationship and I was sick of the whole dating scene when I met John and so not ready to go back. I still wear my wedding ring and just cannot come to take it off so I am spending my time enjoying the kids, the best gifts ever that John left for me to take away a lot of the ache his loss has left me. I am also frustrated with myself with my weight loss. I feel like I am sabotaging myself because I cannot seem to lose any weight but yet I find myself sitting on my butt most nights. So I cannot blame anyone but myself for that. The worst part is that I spent a lot of money for the surgery and then I am sinking back into my old lazy ways. But now with the sun and warmth coming back I hope to get out more and be more physically active, we will see. Hopefully this next year will fly by but I will enjoy it and continue to enjoy my precious kids!!!!
The Tomb Was Not Empty
4 years ago
2 comments:
I'm glad, for the most part, you guys are doing well and trying to enjoy yourselves. I, too, am glad the sun's showing up lately. I need to get bike riding or something because 5 more lbs. found their home this winter here with me and they weren't invited. Have you ever tried water aerobics? I did that a couple times when I was pregnant.
Oh Penny. I can't believe it has been a year. I am so sorry. Not a good anniversary to celebrate. I am so glad that you have your kids to help you through this. You are such a strong woman and a great example. So, I know it is not the same as dating, but when I get back up there lets get together again. I would like to do it more than one time this time! Good luck with the exercising. Just make it something that you have to do (like going to the bathroom). Don't think about it but just get up and do it. I know, easier said than done. You can do it!!!!!
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