I seem to be having a hard time in January. It has now been 10 months since John's passing and I thought it would get easier but I was WRONG!!!! This month has been a very emotional one especially the last few weeks.
Evanslee has been having trouble sleeping, nightmares, going to sleep, thinking about daddy, etc...... she spent a week in my bed due to these issues. But as expected I call the doctor's office to make an appointment and she now sleeps through the night. The doctor says it is to be expected because of her age and all the new changes this past year.
I have had a hard time with the weight loss. I expected more gone by now. I feel like I am at a plateau but when I go to get an adjustment they seem happy about my progress. I decided to take my measurements (it has been a few months) and I am happy to say that I have lost 11-1/2 inches since surgery. My pants show it, but I had a hard time believing until I saw the numbers. I just need to keep losing a pound a week any by next year I should be down significantly.
I have had a sick little one this week with a fever but no other symptoms. I kept her home from school on Monday and Tuesday but I had to go back to work on Wednesday so I took her to her grandma's. This mornining she would up at 5 am with a croupy cough and so I called in sick. I decided to relax and read a book so that she could watch HER shows. I ended up reading a book that had me crying through the whole thing!!!! Did not help my mood. Now I am hoping that she will feel better tomorrow so that I can get back to work, we will see.
I have had a new calling in church, as a Relief Society teacher and I have a love/hate relationship with it. I enjoy reading the lesson and thinking about how it applies to my life, but trying to come up with a lesson plan makes me crazy. Also presenting the lesson to a room full of women makes me crazy, I am a shy person and being in front of a crowd, UGHHH!!!! But I end up enjoying it by the end of the lesson and with the help of other's imput I learn from them.
There is only a week left and I hope that I can enjoy the rest of this month, if not, I can look forward to February.
Evanslee has been having trouble sleeping, nightmares, going to sleep, thinking about daddy, etc...... she spent a week in my bed due to these issues. But as expected I call the doctor's office to make an appointment and she now sleeps through the night. The doctor says it is to be expected because of her age and all the new changes this past year.
I have had a hard time with the weight loss. I expected more gone by now. I feel like I am at a plateau but when I go to get an adjustment they seem happy about my progress. I decided to take my measurements (it has been a few months) and I am happy to say that I have lost 11-1/2 inches since surgery. My pants show it, but I had a hard time believing until I saw the numbers. I just need to keep losing a pound a week any by next year I should be down significantly.
I have had a sick little one this week with a fever but no other symptoms. I kept her home from school on Monday and Tuesday but I had to go back to work on Wednesday so I took her to her grandma's. This mornining she would up at 5 am with a croupy cough and so I called in sick. I decided to relax and read a book so that she could watch HER shows. I ended up reading a book that had me crying through the whole thing!!!! Did not help my mood. Now I am hoping that she will feel better tomorrow so that I can get back to work, we will see.
I have had a new calling in church, as a Relief Society teacher and I have a love/hate relationship with it. I enjoy reading the lesson and thinking about how it applies to my life, but trying to come up with a lesson plan makes me crazy. Also presenting the lesson to a room full of women makes me crazy, I am a shy person and being in front of a crowd, UGHHH!!!! But I end up enjoying it by the end of the lesson and with the help of other's imput I learn from them.
There is only a week left and I hope that I can enjoy the rest of this month, if not, I can look forward to February.
The one good thing about this month is that we have finally received notice that they have determined that John did qualify for disability. The only problem was that he had to die for them to make that decision. He does not get the opportunity to enjoy it and I feel like receiving the money is soooo bittersweet. We filed in March 2009, they denied it, filed with a lawyer and again a denial, appealed that decision before he passed away and now after sending the death certificate they determined that he was disabled from the time of his last job, which was February 2008. I think this has been what has been bothering me the most. I am now financially stable because my husband died. I would love to give it all back if I could have him back, but with one stipulation, that he be healthy, but I know it is not to be. But he is definitely watching over us and making sure that we are taken care of.
4 comments:
Penny - You're an angel and I'm so proud of all that you've accomplished the past 10 months without John. I definitely know he's watching over you and your sweet family.
Aw, Penny, I'm sorry. I had a hard time about a year after my brother died when I was fifteen, kind of like Evanslee. I was afraid to leave my family and go off to school. Anna was hoping Evanslee would get put in her class; she's also welcome at our house. I think John is really trying to pull strings for you guys. :)
Penny, I am so sorry that it has been such a hard month for you. I can't even begin to imagine what you are having to go through. I think about you often and pray for you that things get easier.
On a good note, congratulations again on the weight loss. You are looking so great! Just keep it up and you will see the results.
You have one of my favorite callings! (Gospel Doctrine is my other one) Good luck. You will do such a good job. I bet you end up loving it in the end. :)
Please remember that there are people here for you. Let me know if I can do anything. I love you
Well I am glad I found your blog miss Penny!! Thank you for the sweet comments on mine. Good job on the weight loss, you can do it! I know you can. I love you and if you need anything just let me know!
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